I’m HOME, and my blasts are DOWN!
I spent just under four weeks in the hospital. The day before discharge I even got a pass to go out to dinner with Mike and Erica. It felt very military… a paper signed by a few authorities with strict guidelines of when I needed to be back, and who to call should anything happen… stickers… a stamp… paragraphs… All to step outside. Walking left me winded. The sky made me cry. I didn’t realize how much I missed it! We went to a ramen restaurant and ate grilled skewers and soup. It wasn’t the best food, but the freedom was delicious. By the time we got back I was exceedingly tired and Erica wheeled me back to my room in a chair. That night I underwent another sleep study to make sure I could go all night without needing extra oxygen. I passed.
As the hospital discharge process cranked along the next day, I savored the things I most appreciated about my stay, and tried to mentally prepare myself to take over keeping track of my piles of meds. My care giver-friends kept stopping by to chat and we packed up all the stuff I’d accumulated (well, Erica packed it up while I lounged around). We ordered the tastiest desserts on the menu with our lunch- a hot scooped browny and a carrot cake, and talked with providers as they rounded by. It felt like moving out of a dorm room. The final step was the most unpleasant: a breathing treatment for preventing some sort of lung infection… I should have paid more attention. I figured it would be a little puff of air to breathe in and I’d be good to go. Oh… was I wrong. I was a huge set up, and 15 minutes of breathing in poison flavored gas. It turns out I’m pretty tough when it comes to general pain, but spineless when it comes to lung challenges. But there was Erica, ready to help me through. She had to wear protective gear from head to toe to be with me during the breathing treatment. She read me a wonderful story by Wendell Berry to pass the time. And then… my delightful dad showed up!
Coming home was so sweet… and so difficult. My muscles have atrophied a lot from being in the hospital and I can’t interact normally with Mike and the kids, and that is overwhelmingly sad- but it’s countered with the joy of being with the people I love and not being held up in the hospital bed.
Where things stand now…
- Bone Marrow Biopsy showed a preliminary 6% Blasts!!!! This is huge, my friends!!!!! The cancer has taken a HIT!!!! I could get a transplant at these levels!!!
- I’m on dialysis three days a week. My kidneys must wake up! Please pray that my kidneys are healed!
- Thursday is our big meeting with Dr. Hall to discuss our options… including can we possibly transplant on dialysis??
- It’s time to get buff. Transplant would require another month at the hospital and I need to gain some weight and muscle mass! With kidneys not working, I gather water in my gut and ankles one day, lose it on dialysis day… it’s very odd.
- How am I? I feel emotionally wrung out, but I’m trusting in God’s good plan for my life- and death- whether sooner or later. I feel like I’m a clay jar that is crumbling, but I’m held together in God’s hands. Not one piece is out of place, even though I’m thoroughly broken. He’s holding me just right.