March 30th 2019

Last night I had a great night of sleep. I spent time hanging out with my sisters in the evening, feeling oddly drugged and uninhibited as I spoke my mind at every turn . . . The drugs were in my system from the dialysis line placement in my femoral artery. Usually, the kidneys get rid of these drugs quickly after a procedure, but since mine aren’t working properly, I got to have an emotion-free hilarious time speaking my mind. Jenna and Erica ate poke, I ate some delicious white beer chili from the hospital menu. It felt like a sleepover. Around 9pm, I took a little cup full of my meds, had a final snack, and wound down for the evening. I put on the CPAP machine and was out like a light, unencumbered by the fact that my blood pressure was jumping around and the nurses seemed worried.

After waking up refreshed, I headed down for some dialysis. Good-bye Fentonil. Time to think straight again and get my normal feelings back. The doctors are talking about discharging me from the hospital early next week and giving the steroids time to do their magic on my kidneys before moving forward with transplant and cancer treatment. I can’t wait to be home. There are, however, many people I will miss.

  • There’s a lovely trio that greets me every morning, bright-eyed and youthful; two residents and an intern. I love that I’ve had the same three so consistently and their demeanor brings me so much joy. The two residents are very knowledgeable, and the intern is ready to learn, eager to please, and just happy to be here.
  • Laura the nutritionist. She is the Target Lady of nutrition.
  • My nurses and nurse’s aides–my friends. I’ve become quite attached to some of my nurses and aides, and I love meeting new ones and chatting them up. They often come back just to hang out in my room when they have nothing else to do. I love that they take pleasure in my company and don’t just stop by when they have to. It helps that my room is decked out with nice lighting, a coffee machine, and a relaxed mood. I love watching the nurses sigh with relief as they walk into the room, and hearing them say things like, “I could stay here all day,” or “I have to meet some other patients, but I’ll be back in fifteen to talk more!”

I’m getting spoiled rotten by presents from people

  • Care packages
  • Meals
  • Childcare
  • Tea
  • Matching family jammies
  • Homemade meringues in every flavor
  • Caramel sauce
  • Gift cards
  • Good company
  • Nespresso machines (yes, more than one!)
  • Furniture
  • New toys for the kids
  • Lotions
  • Knit hats and blankets
  • Kind words from everybody I encounter
  • Mysteriously still having hair
  • Blood products
  • Insurance that’s paid for everything (thank you, my dear tax payers)
  • The ear of God… He can’t stop hearing about me
Some of the most delicious food I’ve ever tasted

Wow. I have a lot of thank you cards to write.

9 thoughts

  1. Hi Heidi. Sorry I haven’t commented earlier, but have been following your news. Your positivity, humor, and beautiful writing are amazing. I am sending you tons of positive energy and hoping, hoping, hoping that things turn around for you. You (and, yes, that arabesque!) continue to be an inspiration to me!
    Much love,


  2. This post really made me happy. Looks like the good looks runs in your whole family. How gorgeous you all three are 🙂 Hoping and praying everything goes as planned and you can start your treatment. Tons of love.


  3. Heidi, We love reading your post. It is so encouraging to us. We have the whole FT Rucker Nav’s team praying for your recovery and we hope you will be able to be released soon. Blessings, Perry and Debbie.


  4. Heidi and Company,
    We are praying daily and sending so much love from Seattle. Thank you for letting us accompany you, even just a bit, and from afar.
    John and Libby


  5. Heidi and Company,
    We are praying for you daily and sending so much love from Seattle. Thank you for letting us accompany you, even just a little, and from afar. We love you all,
    Libby and John

    Here is a small contribution to the hilarity fund:


  6. Every time I see the pictures on your posts, you are radiant and smiling…. wait, can this person really be so sick???!!! You are so full of grace that overflows to everyone you encounter😄. May God continue to strengthen your inner being as well as strengthen and heal your body so that this light of His love may continue to shine through you to all whom you encounter! Love and hugs, oh most delightful daughter!!


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